Love, Aisha
“Dear NICU Mama, When joy finds you, I hope you don’t turn your back on it. I know you hide behind the guilt, and it’s hard to think you deserve joy when the sound of beeping machines is constantly threatening to steal it. But mama, you do. When joy finds you, I pray you hold on to that feeling—it will bring you closer to hope.
Maybe you haven’t stopped fighting since the moment your little one entered this world, and maybe you are exhausted. Tell me, mama, what did you feel when you saw their little face? Was it not joy? You’re allowed to fight for that feeling too.
These days are uncertain, and the grief can be overwhelming. But dear mama, when joy finds you, please don’t look the other way. It is in these trying times that the miraculous happens, and it’s possible for you to have them both. It is okay to laugh and cry in the same breath. Dear mama, it is okay—you can have them both.”
Love,
Aisha
More of Aisha + Enzo + Eva’s NICU Journeys:
“My story begins with my son Enzo. In May 2018, we found out we were pregnant with our first. It was an exciting time. We were having a little boy. The pregnancy was extremely easy, and I had no complications. Everything was going great. I experienced contractions during my 24th week, but I didn’t know that’s what they were at the time. On the third day of on-and-off contractions, I went to get checked out and found out I was in labor. I was admitted to the labor and delivery unit where my water broke. Fortunately they were able to slow down labor, and we waited and hoped our son would stay put for as long as possible to get him to continue to develop a little more. That wait lasted five days, and then we were rushed into an emergency C-section. He was born at 5:20pm on October 13th, four months ahead of time. He was perfect, weighing just short of 2 lbs. It was a joyous moment. At around 1am on the 14th, they came to get us and bring us to our boy who was not doing so well after the so-called honeymoon phase. We held him as he took his last breath here on earth. We don’t know what caused my preterm labor, but we were told to wait a year before trying again.
A year later on the dot, I was pregnant with our daughter Eva. We were monitored closely and everything was going great. It was another smooth pregnancy. We passed the 24 week mark with no worries or concerns. At 26 weeks, though, something was not right, and I was feeling a really sharp pain in my abdomen. We were rushed to the hospital and after a sequence of events that I could only describe as miraculous, I was wheeled into the OR once again for my second emergency C-section. On March 7th, 2020 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl Eva who weighed 2lbs 4 oz. Later we were told that Eva was born preterm due to a ruptured uterus. She was found floating in my abdomen. Our journey as NICU parents began two weeks before lock down as a result of COVID-19. Those first two weeks we were with Eva all day every day. Our parents got to see her as well. Then visiting policies changed, and we were given time slots where we could visit Eva one at a time. We would go in the later afternoon and take turns waiting in the car to be with our princess warrior. We learned all the ins and outs, and the doctors, nurses, and staff became family. Eva was in the NICU for 82 days and came home on May 29th. Our time in the NICU made us warriors but also softened our hearts. Our faith grew and kept us from losing hope. Today our daughter is thriving, and her resilience and strength has not changed one bit since her NICU days! We are so grateful for our little family.”
