Love, Antoinyce

“Dear NICU Mama, Practicing gratitude in a season of grief can look like finding joy in the little moments and recognizing tiny miracles that you once thought were ordinary. It’s allowing the glimpse of thankfulness to be present, even in the grief of ‘why’.

The NICU can be full of so many what-ifs and why-nots that it may be hard to pause and remember what is and appreciate the tiny joys that fill the moments days, weeks, and months. Between the unexpected and the uncertain, sometimes grief can overshadow the small moments of joy along the way. Practicing gratitude can be recognizing the good news from doctors’ rounds, even if it’s followed by news that is not as welcomed. Practicing gratitude amid grief can be embracing your emotions, realizing that they come in waves - waves of joy and sorrow, waves of hope and pain, waves of sadness and relief, waves of smiling and tears. Gratitude can be holding on to hope, even when the other emotions crash in (and allowing yourself to experience the fullness of each emotion as it comes).

Gratitude can be leaning into your army of sisters and fellow NICU mamas that have been where you are and clinging to the reality that you, too, can experience the healing and overcoming that navigating this journey can bring. Gratitude in a season of grief can look like discovering new and beautiful ways that you are evolving into a stronger, braver, more courageous, more resilient version of yourself than you ever thought you could be. Really, my Sweet NICU Mama Sister, practicing gratitude in a season of grief is realizing that who you are, through the grace and hope you’re given for this journey, is exactly who you and your baby need you to be to survive and to thrive!”

Love,
Antoinyce

More of Antoinyce + Gordyn + Winston’s NICU Story:

”In May of 2017, when I was 25 weeks into my first pregnancy, I found out that my "B twin" was suffering from a rare condition called intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). My husband and I were afraid, as we were told that this growth restriction could be the result of genetic disorder(s), chromosomal issues, or other potential birth defects. Over the next almost six weeks, we experienced so many highs and lows - mostly tests of our faith and the doctor's best attempts to ensure that at least one of our babies would survive. The final stretch of our pregnancy journey was three long weeks in the antepartum unit to be monitored for dips, inflections, and abnormalities in our sweet baby boy's heart rate and oxygen levels.

On June 27, 2017, at 30 weeks and 6 days, our miracle twins, Gordyn Margo and Winston Fitzgerald were born, weighing 2 lbs. 15 oz. and 1 lb. 8 oz., respectively. And, thus began our NICU journey. 85 days later (85 for Winston and 42 for Gordyn), our little family was united for the first time together in our home.”