Love, Kassandra

“Dear NICU Mama, Your motherhood story is a reminder that a transformation is ahead. It’s already begun—you’re a mother. Maybe you felt it come on gradually, in tandem with the physical changes your body underwent as your baby grew inside you. Maybe it hit you like a thunderbolt the moment you saw your baby. Maybe this new version of you still doesn’t seem real, the transformation incomplete.

Mama, you are entirely correct. Your journey through pregnancy DID change you. So did the moment you first saw your child, and so did each moment after that. The transformation IS incomplete. It always will be.

Each day, each hour, will change you a little more, whether you’re growing along with your baby or growing around your grief. Some days, that change may not seem like it's for the better. The sun might rise to find you weary and battle-worn, aching in your bones and in your heart. But your battles have made you wiser and stronger. Mama, never forget that you are stronger now than you have ever been, and tomorrow you'll be stronger still.

Whatever comes, remember that transformation is always ahead. You may grieve for the version of yourself you left behind, but I hope you'll also honor the woman you’ve become. Welcome her. Love her. Be proud of her. Trust in her strength and to carry you through your darkest times also in her courage to carry you into the light. Because it does take courage to hope, to love, and to find joy.

If you don't feel that courage right now, that's okay. Tomorrow is a new day, a new you. Believe me when I say that each new version of you is exactly as strong and as brave as she needs to be. Let the transformation happen. It's beautiful, Mama, and so are you.”

Love,
Kassandra

More of Allie + Zoe’s NICU Journey:

“My daughter, husband, and I are just about a month into our NICU journey. We're incredibly fortunate that baby Zoe came into the world healthy despite coming just over two months early and with no warning. Well--no acknowledged warning. My nurses spent the entirety of my 12 hour labor telling me I wasn't having contractions because the monitor wasn't picking anything up. Despite the fact that my water had broken and I was having regular pains with increasing frequency and intensity, they blamed my "stomach cramps" on a double dose of Miralax. As a result, Zoe was two pushes away from being delivered into the toilet. But, like I said, we were fortunate. We made it onto the bed before she made her debut, and the medical team was able to get her safely up to the NICU. Since then, she's progressed steadily and without any major hiccups. She's currently learning how to take her feedings from a bottle, and we're hopeful that it won't be too much longer before she can come home.”