Love, Michelle

“Dear NICU Mama, You can be so grateful for your child joining your family and still grieve all the joyful moments you missed. 

You can be glad your child is finally able to get out of the isolette or crib and still grieve that you cannot take them outside for a stroller ride to the park. You can be unbelievably happy every time you get a smile and then cry that you cannot share that smile with your parents and friends. You can be proud when your baby sits up and also hate that they are behind developmental milestones. 

You can find joy in the morning and still feel defeated at night.

Your journey is different. Your family is different. And different is not bad, wrong or shameful. Being different is exceptional, and you stand with all the other exceptional mamas who have their own exceptional journeys. 

You are a great mom.”

Love,
Michelle

More of Michelle + Cole’s NICU journey:

“After a miscarriage last year, my husband and I were over the moon when we got pregnant with our rainbow baby Cole. Our joy was quickly joined by fear and anxiety with bleeding in the first trimester. We passed the 13 week mark just as Covid hit, and I was put on furlough. A week after resuming work, I left the 20 week ultrasound knowing my baby's stomach was not visible. 

Cole was diagnosed with esophageal atresia (EA; a disconnect between the esophagus and stomach) when I was 23 weeks pregnant. EA babies are often preemies, and we knew he would have a long NICU stay.  He was born at 33 weeks and 1 day - a preemie, but much stronger and bigger than we expected.  

On day 77 of our NICU journey, we are not even halfway through. Cole is growing, so the surgeons can repair his atresia. My heart grows with each new smile and milestone he hits. My heart breaks with each day we wait - wait for progress, wait for surgery, wait for nurses to run in when his monitors go off. Yet I know that each day we wait, we get closer to bringing him home.”