Love, Tori

“Dear NICU Mama,

Life after NICU may feel unknown, but know that you are your child’s safety net. 

While the NICU can be overwhelming, there is a sense of routine and safety; with monitors, feeding schedules, holding schedules, and a support system, it feels safe. But for your baby, YOU are “safe.” Your touch and voice in the NICU is safe. When monitors start to beep or when there are multiple medical professionals in the room, YOU are safe. At home, when they cry out, they are crying for you, Mama. They know you’ll be there during new routines, doctor appointments, and the mundane parts of everyday life. 

While the NICU may have felt comfortable, and now your home may feel unknown or uncertain, know that there is a sisterhood of others that have walked this before you. Find comfort and safety in the sisterhood like your baby finds comfort and safety in you.

Love,
Tori

More of Tori + Anna’s NICU Journey:

“Anna’s journey was eventful from the start. 

I work at a school district. One morning, I was really dizzy and had a high heart rate. The school nurse checked my blood pressure and heart rate. It wasn’t abnormally high, but it wasn’t my normal either. I knew I was only about 5 weeks pregnant at this point, so I called my midwife. I went in and did an ultrasound. Results were abnormal, but they weren’t sure what it was, so I went to a clinic for an emergency ultrasound as well. Results showed fluid and an abnormal shaped uterus, but again it wasn’t conclusive. We made it out of the first trimester with lots of nausea and dizziness. It was quiet until week 30. I had my normal appointment in the morning, and that night I ended up in L&D at 2am for contractions less than a minute apart. After IV fluids, I was sent home on modified bed rest. Contractions came and went constantly. At week 34, I went back L&D for decreased movement and contractions. With dehydration and low nutrition, I was placed on a specific diet and restrictions. 

At the end of December after the holidays, I noticed changes in my pain and Anna’s movement. I chalked it up to being in the third trimester. December 31st, I went to the zoo with my son and friends. Contractions were pretty painful there, but after rest, they fizzled out. Eventually the pain increased again significantly; I labored at home for 2 hours, went to the hospital, and Anna was born within 5 minutes of being there. She wasn’t able to breathe on her own and her O2 stats were low, passing meconium in the womb. Fluid was also present in her lungs. She also had low blood sugar level and high bilirubin. We were on a feeding tube, CPAP, and phototherapy during our time in the NICU.

Today, she’s home–a healthy 5-month-old. Our sunshine.”