Love, Gabrielle
Dear NICU Mama,
From one sister to another, I hope you give yourself permission to remember.
Remember every smell, every smile, every touch from that your wonderful baby of yours. Remember that you created something that is strong and a fighter, just like you.
On the nights where you can't sleep and keep wondering when this will end, remember that it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel angry, frustrated, exhausted. Please remember it's okay to be disappointed that this life isn't as you thought it would be, and that it's okay to be hopeful that someday your family will be complete, and the NICU will all be a distant memory.
Remember that, even if no one has told you recently (or if someone has but it's been too hard to hear over your baby's alarms going off), you are a force to be reckoned with. Remember that for every time you think you "can’t," you somehow "do." Remember that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It takes more courage to survive this than anyone could imagine.
Remember that not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel right now doesn't mean that the light doesn't exist; there just might be a few more bends in the tunnel than expected. But in the meantime, sweet mama, remember that in the darkness, you are not and will never be alone.
Love,
Gabrielle
More of Gabrielle + Henry’s NICU Journey:
“My son Henry was born this July (7/30/23), 7 weeks before his due date. Unbeknownst to anyone, my placenta tore and I started internally bleeding. For a completely different reason, I ended up at the hospital where they saw that my baby boy's heartbeat kept dipping. After coding 4 times, I had to get an emergency c-section. We found out afterwards that if I didn't come in when I did, Henry wouldn't have made it 24 hours and I wouldn't have made it 48. In a way, my precious baby saved my life by signaling something wasn't right to my doctor. Now, almost a full 9 weeks later, we are still in the NICU. But my little man is a fighter. He went from being fully intubated, then c pap, then almost a month and a half on high flow, with many ups and downs in between. We still don’t know when he'll be able to come home, but at now 7 lbs, I am so proud of how far my boy has come. I wanted to write a letter to other NICU moms while we're still here - to help both others and myself find some clarity during a NICU stay. Henry recently graduated from the NICU himself and came home.”