Love, Reganne

“Dear NICU Mama, From one sister to another, I hope you give yourself permission to feel again.

It can be easy to build a wall to protect ourselves. To push our emotions to the side to focus on our sweet miracle fighting the good fight every day.

It is okay to feel joy on the good days. To celebrate every victory no matter how big. But it is just as okay to feel grief on the bad days. To grieve every setback no matter how little.

This journey is a rollercoaster, one none of us saw coming. Give yourself some grace – you are doing an amazing job, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.”

Love,
Reganne

More of Reganne + River’s NICU Journey:

“After a relatively normal pregnancy, at 1:00 in the morning on 4/8, 32 weeks and 5 days along I unexpectedly PPROMed. On 4/9 around 10 pm River began having fetal decels with each contraction and we rushed into an emergency c-section. He was born at 10:53 pm weighing 4lbs 3oz. 

The NICU team began treating River and immediately realized something was wrong. As they went to place the NG tube they kept hitting a “bubble” and took an X-ray to discover he has a tracheoesophageal fistula and esophageal atresia. Upon further inspection of the x-day they also discovered he had congenital scoliosis, fused and butterfly vertebrae and an extra set of ribs. Within an hour of his birth River was diagnosed with VACTERL association. 

River was transported to our local children’s hospital by mobile ICU and I was scheduled to be transferred the next day. day. I will never forget arriving to the ambulance bay at exactly 2:22 pm the next day, it was the sign I needed to know that everything was going to be okay. After going through the admissions process I was finally able to be wheeled over to the NICU. This was the first time I consciously remember seeing River and the second our sweet nurse Jen put him on my chest it immediately felt like all was right in the world again.  

At 2 days old River went back for a 6 hour surgery to repair his trachea and esophagus. The surgery was a success and there was no complications. He then spent the next 6 weeks battling hypoglycemia, Brady episodes as well as learning to eat.

2 day before our expected discharge date he had an unexpected reflux Brady. That was the first time I ever cried at his bedside in the NICU. Thankfully it was only a 48 hour hold and we were able to go home May 25th 4 days before his due date. 

River’s medical journey is far from over but there is something so healing knowing everyday I have the privilege to go to sleep with my baby in his crib beside me whether that be at home or in the hospital.”