Love, Jessica

“Dear NICU Mama, From one sister to another, I think it’s amazing how you do whatever you need to in order to help your family flourish. When others say “I don’t know how you do it”, you do know how because there is no other option. I know you might not want to be strong every day, and wish you didn’t have to be, but you are an amazing mother and your baby feels your strength even when you don’t.

As a NICU mama, we sometimes mourn the milestones we miss out on - skin to skin immediately after birth, breastfeeding, having our baby next to us in the hospital room. Our first milestones look different, and I think it’s amazing how you find the strength to celebrate different milestones than what you expected with the same excitement and pride. Being a NICU mama makes you realize that life doesn’t always go as planned and is messy, but it’s also beautiful.

As you set your alarm to pump alone at home in the middle of the night, thinking about what your baby is doing in the NICU at that very same time, you are an amazing mother. As you wear your mask and sit in a chair next to your baby while nurses do his vitals, you are an amazing mother. As you leave them every night with the overnight nurse and shed a tear because it just doesn’t feel natural to go home without your baby, you are an amazing mother. As you leave the NICU to get away from the beeping, desperate for fresh air and a break, you are an amazing mother. As you do telehealth with your therapist and cry because you worry your baby doesn’t know you are their mother since you rarely get to hold him because you are always pumping, you are an amazing mother. As you take your baby home from the NICU and feel both excitement and fear, you are an amazing mother.

Life is messy but beautiful. And it’s through these moments big and small that we become mothers. From one sister to another, I think you’re amazing.”

Love,
Jessica

More of Jessica + Leo’s NICU Journey:

“After suffering from recurrent pregnancy loss and multiple rounds of IVF, we were so excited to be pregnant with our rainbow baby! When the pandemic hit in March, we thought that would be the craziest thing to happen during our pregnancy. But, at 30 weeks pregnant I woke up overnight with intense cramping which the doctor asked me to get checked out. After going to the hospital for what I thought would just be a routine check up and a diagnosis of Braxton Hicks, I was told that my water had broken and I would have to remain in the hospital until I gave birth - anywhere up to 4 weeks.
Because of the pandemic, I was unable to have my husband stay with me. We were hoping for 4 weeks but only lasted 5 days when my labor progressed and we had to have an emergency c-section. Leo was born at 4 lbs, a big guy for a 30 weeker, and he was whisked to the NICU immediately. I didn't get to see his face or hold him for 24 hours, which was heartbreaking. He had a 6 week stay in the NICU and we are lucky that he didn't have many complications, just had to eat and grow.

The nursing staff at Northwestern Prentice were incredible. They taught us how to take care of Leo, helped me with breastfeeding and pumping, and cared deeply about all of our health and safety. Leo is about to turn 2 this June and is thriving. We had 10 extra weeks of snuggles with him and while it was not how we would wish anyone's birth story to go, we are grateful for that extra time with him.”