Love, Kalli
“Dear NICU Mama, Practicing gratitude in a season of grief can look like honoring the journey you were given as you grieve the journey you had in mind.
It can look like grieving the feeding journey you pictured, while accepting the gracious donor milk and formula that fills your baby’s belly instead.
It can look like watching your friends on social media and happy couples in the hospital leave with their three-day-old babies, while you question when your baby will be able to go home.
It can look like seeing your baby hooked up to machines, tubes, and cords, while longing to be able to pick them up effortlessly and hold them in your arms.
It can look like wishing to be home with your baby, while placing your trust in the doctors and nurses that are providing the care that they need.
Sometimes it can look like there is not a light at the end of the tunnel. But no matter how long that tunnel may seem, you have always continued to put one foot in front of another for your strong baby. Through this grief, I hope you see not only how strong your baby is, but also how strong you are. Though this journey may have looked different than the one you imagined, it has molded you into the amazing and strong mother that you are today.
NICU mama, the light will appear at the end of that long tunnel. And when it does, it will be the most beautiful sight.”
Love,
Kalli
More of Kalli + Henry’s NICU Journey:
“Henry was born July 27th, 2022 at 12:13pm. He came into the world fast with only nine pushes after a long labor. The moment Henry was born, my world stopped. He was more beautiful than I ever could have imagined him to be. The hour following his birth was pure bliss. We got our happy family photo and everything seemed to be so perfect. Until it was not. Henry was showing signs of respiratory distress. The nurses took him back to the Special Care Nursery to figure out what was going on. After what felt like an eternity and numerous tests, X-rays, and scans, they figured out he had a pneumothorax (or collapsed lung). The pediatric doctor that was working on the floor that day had to stabilize Henry with a needle aspiration procedure. This doctor had never done this before and had a NICU doctor three hours away FaceTime him to walk him through this procedure while my husband and I watched from the hallway with no idea what was happening. Once stabilized, the doctor called the NICU air-flight team in. Henry was life-flighted in a helicopter to a NICU three hours from our home. I was able to get discharged just hours after giving birth so my husband and I could go be with Henry.
Once in the NICU, Henry had a chest tube put in place for about ten days. When he had the chest tube in, we were not able to hold him due to the possibility of the chest tube moving. The days were long, and it truly felt like “one step forward and two steps back.” The nurses became family, and we were so blessed with the care Henry received. His lung eventually did heal after about a two-week stay. Since coming home, Henry is the happiest baby and we are so blessed to be his parents!”
