Love, Taylor

“Dear NICU Mama, You can celebrate the new memories with your children at home, and still grieve the absence of your NICU baby who is not able to be a part of those memories.

You can be in the moment with your other child(ren), and still long for your NICU baby.

You can smile and laugh watching your healthy older child(ren) enjoy the magic of the holidays, and cry that your NICU baby isn’t there to be a part of that joy.

Sometimes having a baby in the NICU feels like your world has stopped spinning while everyone else continues on with theirs. It’s okay to feel that way.

Having a baby in the NICU when you have other children at home is a strange feeling. Your life can feel compartmentalized, and time may feel like it is standing still while at the hospital. You may feel unable to move forward until you bring your sweet baby home, but time can’t stand still at home because you are someone else’s mama too who expects fun and also needs your love.

 You can have an amazing day with your older child(ren) and then cry because your NICU baby is not a part of the memories you’re making. But don’t feel guilty mama, it’s okay to enjoy life. Your baby will be home with their sibling(s) soon and your family will be complete. Until then, keep living your life, keep being there for your NICU baby, and don’t ever stop enjoying life with their sibling(s). You’ve got this, mama!”

Love,
Taylor

More of Taylor + Milo’s NICU journey:

“While I was pregnant a hole was discovered in our baby’s heart, and they thought he was missing a kidney. Our son, Milo, was born on October 16, 2020. Soon after he was born he was unable to swallow. That combined with heart and kidney issues led them to diagnose him with vacterl syndrome. He was quickly taken to the ICU and soon after a transfer team from Lutheran General was whisking our sweet boy away to their NICU.

Giving birth in a pandemic can be a bit strange, but giving birth and having your baby taken to another hospital during a pandemic was terrifying. My husband followed to make sure Milo was okay. I was left alone.  Because of strict protocols they wouldn’t let anyone else in to stay with me while my husband went to be with our son. It was so lonely and scary.

Since then Milo has had several esophagus procedures to repair a TEF and will soon head to Oak Lawn for heart surgery. It has been 49 days since Milo was taken to the NICU. We hope he will be able to come home soon and finally meet his big sister Charlie, his grandparents, and eventually the rest of our family and friends.”